Oh, I know. Yes, yes, yes…..it’s been awhile. Again. Are we used to these patterns yet? No further statement is available at this time. Please refer to the quote on my website cover page.
How are we doing? It is all Christmasy and crap with all of the expectations marching in by twos, yes? Are you exhausted? How are your elves (on shelves) doing? Mine is hiding underneath my workout shorts- we don’t use workout shorts in Canada in December. I’m going to toss that little a**hole down the stairs tomorrow morning so he is sitting by stockings, and everyone can have one glimpse of that guy to know he is still kicking. Every year I vow not to get knocked down by the to-do’s and holiday stress. There are tidy little memes supporting this effort. Yet, every year I get knocked down by the to-do’s and holiday stress. But I love the twinkle in my kids’ eyes, the anticipation twinkle and the joy of giving and the little bits of extra love that tumble out of the world’s collectively beating heart. I love the music. I put it on every morning of December and it soothes my tired, frayed Mom brain:
“Simply having a wonderful Christmastime…..”
I gave myself a little gift this year, though. I did something mildly unusual, but it was exactly what I wanted to do- not my kids, not my husband, just something I needed and wanted to do. I had to so intensely focus on this thing. Like a journey of 1,000 days and nights (ok, fine, it was more like 30 evenings). Like a sweaty, stoic Joan of Arc carrying the weight of war upon my back and shrieking “freedom” like a gladiator (ok, yes, I only wore a backpack and my workout pants but still……). I had to keep doing this one thing in particular so carefully and so exuberantly and so tirelessly and so specifically and so wholly that I died. With my guts slipping from my belly and blood pouring out to the ground beneath me and a final grasping, agonizing reach to my family, I died.
Maybe that explains the lack of writing, but I digress.
I spent the last 12 weeks studying stage and film combat. I left my kids in the hands of a babysitter and walked, subway’ed, streetcar’ed, walked some more until I arrived to a gritty and delicious studio in the heart of downtown Toronto, and stayed there for 4 hours two nights a week wielding a sword and a quarterstaff and learning how to correctly punch someone squarely in the jaw without letting on it was completely fake. I had done some combat before-700 years ago in university. What could be so difficult about a little slashing with a sword and a little fake kick to the groin?
Well, as it turns out, everything.
Prime, Seconde, knap, advance, retreat, parry, true time, passata sotto and so on- all of the terminology to tuck away in my fight brain. I would sweat and punish myself for not remembering everything exactly right. Safety, Story, Style, shit I accidentally got my partner with a quarterstaff, he’s ok, keep going. Choreography and scene work, actor beats and acting lessons. I was in bootcamp, and it was feeding my soul. The people, my new friends were fierce and true and full of integrity and spirit. My friend Lauren calls that the “uhhhhh” (say that with some soul). They all had the “uhhhhh”. I would wander home exhausted and spent, walking in the cold and dark winter nights feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. Sometimes when you are tired, life tired, having the blaze of a fight burning in your soul feels pretty damn good.
I passed my certification testing. I am not even close to “done”. As my friend Daniel says, this is all about the journey. I am just getting started on mine and will continue to punch and kick my way along. So today, on this fine Christmas Eve, I want to share with you something before you watch me die (oops, I gave away the ending). A few actor combatant rules to send you on your merry way:
Make eye contact. Breathe. Disappear the room (thank you, Christopher Mott) and let all that surrounds you fall away with the exception of who is right in front of you. Release the tension- it makes for crappy fighting. Love your scene partner and take care of them. Know how to walk away from the fight unscathed and with your whole heart. Prepare and then trust yourself. And my favorite and most useful, when hellfire is raining down and swords are slashing away at your face and you are not safe and fear starts to creep into your belly, Get The Fuck Out.
Merry Christmas, my loves. xoxoxoxoxoxox
Enjoy the following video.:)
A very heartfelt and special thank you to my dear and talented scene partner, Michael Ruhs, and special appearance by Esther Stellar (the acting world needs to pay very special attention to these two). And to the most incredible Fight Director in the business, Daniel Levinson, Rapier Wit Studios (choreographer) and assistants Amanda Martin and Richard Comeau and adjudicator, Todd Campbell. Some of my favorite people in the entire world.