“Have you found any friends yet?”
“I hope you can meet some people!”
“I think it will be better when you meet some people! It takes time.”
Yes. Understood. I know why many are telling me/asking me this- it’s human nature. We want our people to be cared for and to be social and have “community”. My children are blowing my mind with their new community of friends (while still loving and missing their people back home), and Jay has a community of work comrades surrounding him. It’s only natural that now it’s my turn to meet friends. Now, I tend to lean towards the kind of people who prefer to live in caves and not come out- in other words, I am an introvert. Very much so. I have debated this to exhaustion with so many who don’t believe me- but introvert I am. I energize alone, only alone, so this is why the days get hard sometimes. So with this in mind, I have decided I will place an ad. It’s the only reasonable thing left for a girl to do. And since I’m all about the brutal truth now, this is what it will say.
Desperately Seeking Friends (but not really because I might have other plans if you call me)!
Attention! I am new to this strange land they call Georgia, and I would like a friend (or two). My name, well, never mind, it doesn’t matter because if you really want to be my friend we will meet in person right after school drop-off number three and we will both be slightly late because of our ever-so-cool-vibe-of-I’m-not-sure-about-you-yet or just forget the whole thing and text me. I have four kids, so please do not judge the bags under my eyes and the slight look of crazy in my furrowed brow (the crazy can also be blamed on palmetto bugs, please give me guidance in this area). I am married to a man, I love him and I definitely do not need another spouse- so if you can be a dude not interested in the likes of me then I suppose I’ll accept either male or female. I’m tired, I’m very f*&king tired and I love to use the word f*%k- if this is a problem stop reading. I am telling my stories and running with my eyes closed and if this is confusing to you, I won’t apologize-you will either have to try to understand or walk away- no harm done. I will listen to anything you have to say unless you want to talk about what kind of cheese to buy at the store or where to get cool shoes- I am done with small talk. I listen, I listen hard, so tell me the truth. I laugh all of the time and squeeze as much joy as I can into my slightly-broken soul (which you just need to be ok with and try not to fix, that’s between me and the stars) so prepare to laugh while we slosh our wine down our shirts. Which brings me to laundry- if you have any experience in that area, the help would be greatly appreciated. I only accept honesty until it comes to the time when we discuss healthy eating choices for our families- if you are a meal-planner, good grief I respect you and wish to be you someday, but when you see me feeding my kid Pringles in the store at 5:30pm while I’m crying in the produce section, forget honesty and please just give me a hug and say “great to see you new friend.” If you have beautiful, long, shiny Georgia hair like so many of you do here, please do not diss my funny, frizzy messy bun- it’s just recently happened to my hair and I don’t know what else to do with it. Any hair product tips are appreciated, but keep it short and sweet, please, and let’s get back to the real stuff. I drive all of the time- everywhere- I’m not kidding- 18 trips up and down Evans To Lock Road today- do you know that road? It makes me bored- you can call me on my fancy new bluetooth (all hands-free like so many of you Georgians refuse to use) and we can laugh together about how driving here is exactly like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride in Disneyland. Wait- are you from California? Never mind- that story is too long, let’s start fresh. And, mascara, let’s talk mascara. You have to be the kind of friend who quietly whispers in my ear- you forgot your mascara, babe- and then wink at me and walk off like freaking Sandra Dee in Grease once she becomes completely cool. In return for all of this, I will love and give and laugh and cry and help you heal and plan and dream and share and keep you safe if you ever go into a rabbit hole. This I promise you, new friend.
Here is the reality. I already have a beautiful, imperfect, perfect cavalry of friends. I know them and I see them- dressed in their best Game of Thrones garb, standing with sword and shield at the edge of the cliff ready to form a human flying-squirrel safety net if I accidentally trip over the edge. They are honest and compassionate and have had enough of their own hurt to understand what life feels like, and together we take turns mopping up the messes and lighting the bonfires for each other. Friends who have graciously and kindly come back to me after a short 13-year-break while I was busy having babies. Friends who I’ve known for less time, but instantly we smudged our mascara and laughed like maniacs and traded hearts. Friends who don’t expect an apology when I go all “introvert-cold-give-her-a-minute-she’ll-be-back”.
So……it might take me a month or seven to “find my friends” here. Not to worry, I have the world’s best badass army of them standing right at my back.
Run on, soldiers.
